Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
