If you die in college, do you die in real life?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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