At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
