drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
