Apparently you make a good broom.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
