I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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