Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
