so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
