its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
