I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize