Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
