oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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