You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
