I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
