Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
