Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize