every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm bleeding and have questions
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
