Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
