i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
