I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We need a shit load of segways right now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
