Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
