If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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