I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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