Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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