Pappa wants mamma naked
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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