If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
