i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
