Are we in a gay sports bar?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
