that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
