College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
