Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
