Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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