Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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