we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
