She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm both gender and math confused
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
