i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
