my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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