Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize