and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize