Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
