i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
