I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
