I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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