it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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