White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
