I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
that is very illegal...i love you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
