hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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