Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You smell like stripper and shame
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
