The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
