i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I think my moral compass just broke
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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