Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
