ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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