No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
