Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
how drunk are you?
Several
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
