party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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