I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
