a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
