lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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