So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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