Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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